The Art of Doing Good

I believe that every human mind feels plea­sure in doing good to another.

— Thomas Jefferson

I agree with Thomas Jef­fer­son, but if its true that doing good makes our minds feel good, then why do we not see more of good­ness and kind­ness on TV, in the movies, books and arti­cles, on the web and inter­ac­tions of every­day life? Why is doing good not glo­ri­fied to the lev­el it should be, while the heinous deeds of mur­ders and crooks find a place in the news and is broad­cast­ed all over the world?

The eter­nal bat­tle of good and evil has been always been part of the human con­di­tion. It has been writ­ten about in antiq­ui­ty, it has bog­gled the minds of philoso­phers and schol­ars, and has been the cen­tral theme of end­less sto­ries, plays, songs, prayers and every­day con­ver­sa­tions since the begin­ning of Time.

I always felt that doing good was sim­ply ‘good,’ that a good deed was some­thing enrich­ing, that a sim­ple ges­ture of help­ing an elder­ly per­son was a respect shown to them, that giv­ing a help­ing hand was like light­ing a flame of hope to those who need­ed it most. I was brought up this way. My par­ents told me to be good, be kind, be com­pas­sion­ate, and be hun­gry for knowl­edge because it will set your mind free. They were so right! I live by this max­im and it real­ly feels great.

Recent­ly, I read an arti­cle in which Stephen Post, author of the book, Why Good Things Hap­pen to Good Peo­ple, revealed that new sci­ence shows giv­ing — mon­ey or time — not only feels just as good as get­ting, but can actu­al­ly improve your health.

“Giv­ing is as good for the giv­er as it is for the receiv­er. We’ll be hap­pi­er, health­i­er, and even — odds are — live a lit­tle longer if we’re gen­er­ous,” Post said. “Pub­lic health isn’t just about bugs and stay­ing away from lead. It’s about doing unto oth­ers and at the right dose. Sci­ence says it’s very good for you.” 

There is a lot of evi­dence avail­able nowa­days that indi­cates that work­ing at hav­ing a hap­py mind is the best thing you could do to your­self. By being gen­er­ous and by com­mit­ting your­self to a cause lifts your spir­it, your heart beats more reg­u­lar­ly, you explore things that calm you, and you avoid tox­i­c­i­ties all around. Not only that, but kind­ness is good to the giv­er and the recip­i­ent, but it is also good to the observ­er of the act.

I knew it intu­itive­ly before I stud­ied phi­los­o­phy. Since I was a lit­tle girl I was raised to be thought­ful, I was taught kind­ness and that doing good deeds were impor­tant. I instinc­tive­ly knew deep inside that if I did some­thing good it would lift some­body and it would make me feel good too. The trick was to do it and not talk about it. Not to bask in the glo­ry of being a won­der­ful­ly kind or a gen­er­ous per­son. The Art of Being Good is DOING good and not TALKING about it. I found the way to do it suc­cess­ful­ly was to do good dai­ly in some way for fam­i­ly, friends and strangers. And to myself. 

If you need guidance I offer you a challenge…

Each day wake up grate­ful for the day ahead, even if you slept poor­ly and feel grog­gy. Be pos­i­tive whether its sun­shine or rain. On your way to work, school or a store, smile to every­one you see. You nev­er know how your smile can ele­vate some­body’s mood. Each day help some­body — your child, friend, spouse, an elder­ly per­son. Teach a child some­thing new, explain or show them some­thing inter­est­ing. Call a friend and have a mean­ing­ful con­ver­sa­tion, even just for 3 min­utes. Lis­ten, real­ly lis­ten to what they tell you. Do not cut them off or fin­ish their sentences. 

Vis­it or call your par­ents if you are blessed to still have them and tell them you love them. Tell them you under­stand how much they have done for you and that you val­ue their advice and are grate­ful for their lives. Hug your child, be patient with your child, do not scream at them when frus­trat­ed. Scream­ing will not help, it can leave a wound on their psy­che. Instead count to 10 and say to your­self, “Don’t sweat small stuff; it’s just small stuff.”

E- mail or Skype a friend who is far away and tell them that the dis­tance between you does not dimin­ish the inten­si­ty and strength of your friend­ship. Keep your friend­ships alive, for your friends are tru­ly your found trea­sures.  Dr. Wayne Dyer, an inter­na­tion­al­ly renowned author and speak­er in the fields of self-devel­op­ment and spir­i­tu­al growth, and author of over 40 books, includ­ing 20 The New York Times best­sellers, once said, ” Your friends are God’s way of apol­o­giz­ing for your fam­i­ly.” Fun­ny but often true, so appre­ci­ate them. And then appre­ci­ate them some more.

At work pay a com­pli­ment to your boss, be kind to your cowork­er, hold the door for a stranger. When shop­ping say some­thing nice to a cashier in a store. For­give those who wronged you. Do not take on a heavy bag­gage of blame, guilt and hurt. These feel­ings have only been con­ceived by your brain and show up in moments of anx­i­ety or sad­ness. We all have these moments, but it is best to not let them affect and infect you. Get rid of this bal­last, like a sailor gets rid of unnec­es­sary weight — sail light and free through the sea of life. 

Have a blast with your friends, give your­self 15 min­utes a day just for you time. Day­dream, soak in a nice bath, do some gen­tle yoga, take a qui­et moment to med­i­tate, read or write, exer­cise or just go out and about and look around and mar­vel of what uni­verse has to offer. What­ev­er it is, do it with love for your­self because if you don’t, you won’t be able to spread the good for oth­ers. Learn the art of doing good from being good to your­self. Be good to your body and soul.  The Art of being GOOD will be good to you too.